July 22, 2008

  • (Lack of) Attitude of Gratitude...

    OK, so having read tons and tons of self-help books, spiritual growth books (including The Bible), personal growth books, prosperity books, and even attending growth seminars of all genre, there seems to be one common denominator of them all: expressing gratitude in some form.  God knows how many praise and worship songs I've sung over the years that had the word "thanks" in it. 

    So the other day, I came across a workbook for the recent Secret that came out a couple of years ago, and I opened it to see what exactly was on it having watched the DVD.  It was basically a journal to make a "gratitude list."  Apparently, this is something where you enter on a regular basis on things you're thankful for.  Now that's a wonderful concept, don't get me wrong, but I think it misses a section on a masterpiece of a bigger picture. 

    During the past year in my personal growth quest, I noticed that most of the people I came across in that realm were those who were successful in one area, but not the other, or were there to create more of a balance between personal and career success.  Like myself who was finding ways to take my craft of acting to a higher level, most people I came across were those who were succeeding in their respected career field but their relationships, if they existed at all were not on a "10" level (on a scale of 1-10)  In fact, I would venture out to say that they rated their relationships on a "4" or less. 

    So I was reviewing my journals especially the one's I started shortly since the beginning of 2007.  In December of 06, I was hospitalized for a mysterious hand infection on the verge of having my left hand amputated.  Following in January 07, I decided to list at the end of the day what I was "thankful" for, and in time, my general attitude in life shifted.  I found myself losing my temper a whole lot less, looking more optimistic towards challenging situations, smiling a whole lot more since the beginning of 07.  I was traveling a lot more.  Who would've guessed that in less than a year's time, I'd travel to Vegas, Oklahoma City, L.A., Phoenix, Austin, Hong Kong, Thailand, and Singapore?  Actually it was less than a time of 8 months. 

    So what does this have to do with an imbalance of relationships?

    Well, as I stated, I was reviewing my gratitude journal from Jan 07 until now.  I listed things that I received, food that I ate, parking spaces that opened up (in San Francisco, that's something to REALLY THANK for), places I visited, and breakthroughs I've made usually in acting. 

    What I listed very little were people whom I was thankful to and for. 

    Then I looked at this blog itself.  Back in November 07, I began a blogging project to thank past mentors and how they influenced my life for the better.  There was only a total of 3 entries including my intro.  No, I'm not going to beat myself up over the lack of follow-through, but it was definitely interesting to see how much effort I put.  Then again looking at my journal, I could definitely see the correlation between the two. 

    I share this because I was revisiting the idea of creating a bunch of "thank you" notes to people in my life.  The idea came about during my time in MLS.  I had some time for inner reflection and thoughts and people came to mind.  I was driving to lunch earlier this afternoon, and the thoughts struck me again.  Only this time I reflected on my overall gratitude list in my journals.  The thought hit me.

    Even though more people are creating gratitude lists as a result of their quest for personal growth, how many of the items listed are actually another person?  And I'm not just talking about an item such as "I am thankful for that courteous customer service counter person who gave me an additional shot of espresso and charged me for a single price instead of that grande," because in reality, we're really being thankful for that "hookup." 

    This weekend, I called my friend Kit and alphatext my other friend Alex whom I met up with in Thailand while doing my Holiday travel in Southeast Asia.  (I didn't MEET them while travelling in Thailand, we were already friends) After we returned back from our trip in the beginning of this year, we all got caught up in our respected separate endeavors: Kit is very active w/the Thai Temple in Berkeley, Alex works for Toyota, and I've been focused on my personal growth projects with PSI since March.  My alphatext message to Alex was an acknowledgment of my lack of contact w/him and that I still valued our friendship.  My conversation w/Kit was to express my appreciation of our growing friendship over the past 3 years especially after my mom's passing and therefore, she, Alex and our other friend Chris became family to me.  Luckily I caught them before they took a road trip down to Southern Cali which is where they are now.  And because I was able to let them know how much I appreciated having the both of them in my life...

    ...I miss them. 

    And from them I learned that they didn't need to be "mentors" per se for me to express thanks to and for them.  They were simply being themselves.  If you think about it, just being is a thankless job for the most part, yet being is very under appreciated. 

    So when was the last time a "thank you" note was sent to someone "just because?"  Do you think that could make a difference? 

    Try it.

    Get back to me and let me know how it went.

    Oh, and THANKS in advance!!!

    Actually...

    THANK YOU.  PERIOD!!!