A little more than a year ago, I went through a lengthy audition process in Singapore to get into one of their professional dramatic training companies.  I say lengthy because I was there auditioning for more than three hours, and it was originally a scheduled six hour audition.  The remaining hours was cut because the president of the academy who was auditioning me decided to “waive” the English test I was required to take.  (Not an exaggeration!)  When I left that audition, there was one more requirement that I had to do in order to be fully evaluated.  And no, the president was not going to waive this requirement.  It was a writing sample.  Now granted, he was not familiar with my blogs nor my plays.  I could’ve simply copied and pasted something I’ve done in the past, but since I went through all the trouble to get to Singapore to audition, and since at that point my foot was fractured, I decided to create something new.  Since my most recent topic was on gratitude, I figured now is a good time to post what I sent to the academy: 

One Letter Makes a Difference

Almost ten years ago, I was asked to give a speech to a church group in regards to why I was chosen to teach conversational English in China on behalf of their organization.  While I was writing an initial draft to what I was going to share with them, I got distracted and I misspelled a word. I initially wanted to say that it was either “divine or cosmic” intervention in my introduction, but I left out the “s” in “cosmic,” so when I spoke, I said “comic” intervention! 

Luckily, I had with me copies of letters written to me over the years from members of that church.  So when I made the initial faux pas of saying “comic” instead of “cosmic,” I seized an opportunity that was a result of a mistake. I immediately pointed out to the group that I meant “cosmic,” which resulted in laughter.  I then pointed out that if you replace the “c” in “cat” with an “r,” you get a totally different animal.  Then I jokingly asked the group which animal would they rather have as a pet. 

So then I grabbed a letter from my pile that I brought along with me and read aloud an excerpt of it.  The letter was written to me following a breakup in my relationship and a crisis I had with my parents at that time.  I then shared the Bible verse the person shared with me (Jeremiah 29:11) and revealed the identity of the letter because that person was well known among the church.  I emphasized to the group that “one letter makes a difference,” and like my spelling analogies, how a letter written to someone could help create a major difference.  When I concluded, I shared with a group another verse from the Bible (Philipians 4:6-7), and told them about how a simple letter could help someone who’s going through some hardship.  I then wrote on the board the word “BITTER,” and then replaced the “I” with an “E” to re-emphasize one letter makes a difference.

I share this story now because we currently live in a day and age of email, sms, and evites.  The art of letter writing is a dying art form.  Yes, I agree that we could be as eloquent on email as we could in a letter, but I believe that a handwritten letter adds a dimension more than something that’s typed and spellchecked on a screen and then sent to “whoever @ wherever dot com.”  In other words, if Individual A sent an eloquent and specific email to Individual B, it doesn’t hold the same weight had A handwritten and sent it to B.   Why?  I think it’s because fonts are uniform.  We all share Times New Roman and Arial.  It doesn’t matter if we change the font, it does not replace the individual uniqueness of the handwriting from the sender.  Yes, an email is more convenient, time saving, cost effective.  But that’s what adds more value to something handwritten.  The writer did take the time and effort in order to express how much they care or feel. 

Over this past weekend, I was challenged on what I could do in order to make a difference in other lives.  Initially I did not come to any conclusive answer.  But as I write this now, I know:  Say what you feel and feel what you say… on paper…with your own writing…send it to someone…allow the magic of a handwritten letter transform someone. 

…after all…

ONE LETTER MAKES A DIFFERENCE!   

And of course, I sent a handwritten postcard to the president a short time afterwards thanking him for taking the time of his busy schedule to meet with me.  (True to my words)  Later in October 2007, I received a letter saying that I got into the programme.  Then I went through a very lengthy and challenging process of getting a long term student status visa through the Singaporean government.  (Long story later) 

I say all this because reading my previous entry and reading Professor Pausch’s The Last Lecture reinforced what I said in my writing sample.  If you read The Last Lecture, (which I highly recommend) Chapter 41 is all about the handwritten “thank you” note.  And I do agree with him that it has become a “lost art.” In fact, I’ll venture out to say that ANY handwritten note has become a lost art. 

Wait…

I did venture out and said that. 

One + year ago. 

OK, so having read tons and tons of self-help books, spiritual growth books (including The Bible), personal growth books, prosperity books, and even attending growth seminars of all genre, there seems to be one common denominator of them all: expressing gratitude in some form.  God knows how many praise and worship songs I’ve sung over the years that had the word “thanks” in it. 

So the other day, I came across a workbook for the recent Secret that came out a couple of years ago, and I opened it to see what exactly was on it having watched the DVD.  It was basically a journal to make a “gratitude list.”  Apparently, this is something where you enter on a regular basis on things you’re thankful for.  Now that’s a wonderful concept, don’t get me wrong, but I think it misses a section on a masterpiece of a bigger picture. 

During the past year in my personal growth quest, I noticed that most of the people I came across in that realm were those who were successful in one area, but not the other, or were there to create more of a balance between personal and career success.  Like myself who was finding ways to take my craft of acting to a higher level, most people I came across were those who were succeeding in their respected career field but their relationships, if they existed at all were not on a “10″ level (on a scale of 1-10)  In fact, I would venture out to say that they rated their relationships on a “4″ or less. 

So I was reviewing my journals especially the one’s I started shortly since the beginning of 2007.  In December of 06, I was hospitalized for a mysterious hand infection on the verge of having my left hand amputated.  Following in January 07, I decided to list at the end of the day what I was “thankful” for, and in time, my general attitude in life shifted.  I found myself losing my temper a whole lot less, looking more optimistic towards challenging situations, smiling a whole lot more since the beginning of 07.  I was traveling a lot more.  Who would’ve guessed that in less than a year’s time, I’d travel to Vegas, Oklahoma City, L.A., Phoenix, Austin, Hong Kong, Thailand, and Singapore?  Actually it was less than a time of 8 months. 

So what does this have to do with an imbalance of relationships?

Well, as I stated, I was reviewing my gratitude journal from Jan 07 until now.  I listed things that I received, food that I ate, parking spaces that opened up (in San Francisco, that’s something to REALLY THANK for), places I visited, and breakthroughs I’ve made usually in acting. 

What I listed very little were people whom I was thankful to and for. 

Then I looked at this blog itself.  Back in November 07, I began a blogging project to thank past mentors and how they influenced my life for the better.  There was only a total of 3 entries including my intro.  No, I’m not going to beat myself up over the lack of follow-through, but it was definitely interesting to see how much effort I put.  Then again looking at my journal, I could definitely see the correlation between the two. 

I share this because I was revisiting the idea of creating a bunch of “thank you” notes to people in my life.  The idea came about during my time in MLS.  I had some time for inner reflection and thoughts and people came to mind.  I was driving to lunch earlier this afternoon, and the thoughts struck me again.  Only this time I reflected on my overall gratitude list in my journals.  The thought hit me.

Even though more people are creating gratitude lists as a result of their quest for personal growth, how many of the items listed are actually another person?  And I’m not just talking about an item such as “I am thankful for that courteous customer service counter person who gave me an additional shot of espresso and charged me for a single price instead of that grande,” because in reality, we’re really being thankful for that “hookup.” 

This weekend, I called my friend Kit and alphatext my other friend Alex whom I met up with in Thailand while doing my Holiday travel in Southeast Asia.  (I didn’t MEET them while travelling in Thailand, we were already friends) After we returned back from our trip in the beginning of this year, we all got caught up in our respected separate endeavors: Kit is very active w/the Thai Temple in Berkeley, Alex works for Toyota, and I’ve been focused on my personal growth projects with PSI since March.  My alphatext message to Alex was an acknowledgment of my lack of contact w/him and that I still valued our friendship.  My conversation w/Kit was to express my appreciation of our growing friendship over the past 3 years especially after my mom’s passing and therefore, she, Alex and our other friend Chris became family to me.  Luckily I caught them before they took a road trip down to Southern Cali which is where they are now.  And because I was able to let them know how much I appreciated having the both of them in my life…

…I miss them. 

And from them I learned that they didn’t need to be “mentors” per se for me to express thanks to and for them.  They were simply being themselves.  If you think about it, just being is a thankless job for the most part, yet being is very under appreciated. 

So when was the last time a “thank you” note was sent to someone “just because?”  Do you think that could make a difference? 

Try it.

Get back to me and let me know how it went.

Oh, and THANKS in advance!!!

Actually…

THANK YOU.  PERIOD!!! 

Sometimes, you return from a trip or a course, or some sort of event where you get an epiphany or further insight about yourself and realized that from that moment on, because of your new awareness, things would never been the same again.  For example, 11 years ago I left the United States for the first time in my life and I interacted with the local villagers in Mainland China for almost 2 months.  Upon returning home, I realized that my perspective on the world had changed and expanded dramatically and life wouldn’t be the same for me again upon returning home.  Then I got a job with Paging Networks shortly afterwards and became a working robot.  Clocked in, clocked out, did things on the weekend, clocked in clocked out, did things on the weekend, clocked in, clocked out, did things on the weekend…get the picture?  Problem was, my experience was hard to describe to others because they didn’t get “it.” 

So last week, I returned home from The High Valley Ranch as an official MLS C 80 Graduate.  Ten intense days of classroom and hands on learning on taking charge as a leader in your life and to be able to influence others around you. 

So what changed?

Actually my conclusions about myself when I look into the mirror.  It’s very hard to describe actually.  I mean by that, when I look in the mirror I still see “Jarrett” per se, but yet my conclusions about Jarrett is far different than before I took off for the MLS training.  In some ways, it wasn’t a radical shift as my viewpoint was already changing as a result of returning from the PSI 7 Success Course.  I described my recent experience to another PSI 7 classmate:

PSI 7 enabled me to find new descriptions and adjectives about myself that I didn’t think was possible about me.  MLS empowered me to come to definitive conclusions of who and what I am when it comes to the scheme of things in life.  The Basics opened the door to all the possibilities of what my life could be. 

Its unfortunate that what I learned at High Valley Ranch isn’t more widely taught in the curriculum of public schools because I can guarantee how much more learning would take place if it was taught.  However, living what I learned is a key to teach others around you.  But it’s easier said than done.  I know because not even more than a half hour passed when the chartered bus last week dropped me off at SFO, and I was flipping the bird to a “fellow” pedestrian who took it upon themselves to walk against a red light as my vehicle was following traffic. 

A tall order indeed. 

So as I go about my everyday business, the routines the same, the schedule is unchanged, the people around me has their same ups n downs, and even myself, I’m the same person.  It’s just that shift of my own conclusions about myself that’s switched.  So back to work. 

Got a mirror?