Confucius: Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself
Jesus: So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (Matt 7:12)
Cynic: S/He who has the gold, makes the rules! 

So what are the rules to live by?  As a Christian, we’re taught that our greatest commandment is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your strength and all your mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27) and is that commandment contradictory to the “Golden Rule” that was told by Jesus?  Let’s look closer…

Commandment: Love your neighbor as yourself…
Golden Rule: Do to others what you would have them do to you.

Pretty similar, isn’t it? 

Sure I could bring up the “Ten Commandments,” but we were given “the Greatest Commandment” as a response from Jesus when he was asked by his contemporaries whether there was a Commandment and/or Law that would sum up the original 10 Commandments and the other Jewish laws.  If you noticed, it was another way of saying the “Golden Rule.”  Actually, my personal take on The Greatest Commandment is along the line of “Put God first in your life AS you practice the Golden Rule.” 

The Golden Rule or a variation of it must’ve been pretty important, because it is considered to be the principle of 143 different religious and spiritual traditions as a declaration was signed and agreed upon back in 1993. 

But do we really live and follow this rule? Or is Murphy overruling our own U.S. Constitution, The Golden Rule, and The Greatest Commandment? 

Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Seems to me that more people are living their lives according to Murphy’s Law then any other law.  Think about it, do we make decisions of our day to day activities based on “covering our asses,” or do we put forth an effort to treat others as we desired to be treated?  I mean, if we’re making choices and decisions because we’re trying to cover our asses, how did we come to the conclusion that we need to cover our ass in the first place?  Where did that reasoning come from?  If we’re truly following The Golden Rule and/or The Greatest Commandment, would there be a real need to “cover our ass?” 

I agree, it is much easier said than done of living life according to the Golden Rule versus living life under Muphy’s Law.  We all try in one way or another.  We try different religions, we watch shows like Oprah and Dr Phil, we read books(have you seen the “Self Help” section at a bookstore?), goto seminars, see therapists, take medication (legal and illegal) wiki it, google it, and yet, the moment something SEEMS to go wrong, we panic.  Then in spite of all our efforts, we begin to focus on what we felt we did wrong and start to beat ourselves up with an emotional battering ram.  We become our worse critic of ourselves.  Eventually we live our lives, unaware that we’ve given up.  Worse, we’ll live our lives knowing that at some point we gave up, but we simply no longer care.  Next thing we know, we’re making choices and decisions making sure our asses are covered or ensuring that we get what we believe we’re entitled to, or that we make sure that whoever wronged us would gets theirs. 

I know, that was my life story.

When I was at the retreat at High Valley Ranch a couple of weeks back, I was introduced to “Rule 6.” In a nutshell…

Rule 6: Don’t take yourself so seriously.

In other words, “lighten up, get over it, laugh a little,” ect ect ect…In some way it is a variation of The Golden Rule.  If we’re more forgiving of ourselves, if we lighten up, wouldn’t that affect our interactions with others?  I mean, whenever I lighten up on myself, things that other people do doesn’t seem to bother me as much.  Most importantly, even if something were to go wrong, it doesn’t have as much of an impact on me.

It was just a matter of time after leaving High Valley Ranch that I would immerse myself into the “real world” and have to deal with disappointments (Stars Agency deciding not to represent me) letdowns, frustration (my bank renewing a CD for double the time period I agreed with)  and having no control over other friends/people/family around you.  Within a matter of time, following The Golden Rule and overruling Murphy Law’s becomes more and more challenging.  Then all of a sudden, just when I’m on the verge of forgetting all the possibilities and greatness that I discovered about myself at High Valley Ranch because of all the “real world craziness,” God gently reminds me of all the silliness and says to me…

My beloved Child, don’t forget Rule #6!

Then I’m able to goto bed rest-assured that Murphy’s Law has once again, been…

OVERRULED!!!

My Singapore Sis often reads this blog.  Actually at times, it seems like she’s the ONLY reader of this blog.  She and I aren’t brother and sister per se by birth.  It was an evolving friendship over time that consisted of many theological debates and name calling cheap shots. (mainly due to my carelessness) But in the end, the person who sees me off at the Changi Airport is her. 

There are several times when I read the comments from her and say to myself, “WTF??? What the hell is she talking about?”  I know Singapore is an English speaking country, but the frustration is that the cultural differences between here and there affects the terminology, and I have no clue what she’s saying, or she has no clue what I’m saying.  Actually, that also helped develop the “character” of our friendship or siblinghood over the years.  So not too long ago, I read a comment from her that kept repeating, Jia You! Jia You! Jia You! Jia You! Jia You! I’m like “what the fuck is she talking about???”  Finally a short time ago, I received this message from her:

Jia You means “don’t stop,” or “keep going!” Literally, it translate to “keep it oiled.”

A few entries back I mentioned that I spent the last year on personal growth especially after briefly dating a psycho chick from hell.  I took a closer look at the situation and noticed that there was a pattern worth NOT repeating, so I contacted an old mentor from years past.  Marc Accetta was an “upline” from an MLM company I once worked for.  His mentor Bill Gouldd was the main trainer of that company and through his trainings, I learned way much more than sales.  I contacted Marc about a year ago thinking that Mr. Gouldd no longer conducted training on personal growth to help me take my life to the next level as an actor, writer, and in my relationships or lack of.  I would’ve continued to take courses through either of them, but when they got involved over a litigation battle involving the training materials, I felt it was time to move onto another source. 

So when my friend Mandy was visiting me from Denver a short time after my weekend spent w/Marc a year ago, she picqued my curiousity of her visit.  She was going to a personal growth training on a ranch up in Northern California for an entire week.  I thought the concept of her growth class was weird to me in the respect that 1) she was to be picked up directly from the SFO at 6am to be driven to the ranch and 2) she was not allowed to discuss any of her training to me afterwards, but she was “enlightened.”  I’m like what the fuck kinda post-hippie new age crap group has she gotten herself involved with?  THEN, she told me that the name of the organization was called PSI Seminars.  I couldn’t help but think, ‘yup, she definitely got mixed up with the WRONG group here.’  So throughout the rest of the year, we’d often compare notes and what sort of “results” occured in the aftermath of our trainings.  My result was passing a very unusual audition process to be invited to work and study with a professional actors training company in Singapore, but after several futile applications with the Singapore government, and several enrollment delays with the training centre, I decided that at that point the best avenue for me was to remain in the States.  I took a “final” trip to Singapore this past January to say my “goodbyes” to my friends there, and if you recall a past entry about the “HERE AND NOW,” I came to the realization that I could find what I’m looking for anywhere because what I was looking for came from within.  Well I never finished the entire story…

However, please read “HERE AND NOW” before proceeding further.

So after eating my dinner at the Kopitiam following the show where I took over an hour and 3 modes of transportation to find the theater, my Singapore Sis text messaged me something that caused me to reflect back on the previous two years.  I returned to my hotel room, contacted Mandy in Denver, and attempted to enroll into the course she took when she went to California.  Problem was, PSI has a structure such that there are prereqs to complete in order to take certain courses with them.  So I enrolled in their “Basics” during the month of March in anticipation to eventually enroll in the course Mandy took. 

I recently completed the course Mandy took, and I now fully understand why all the secrecy and why the isolation on the ranch to conduct the course.  The bottom line was that my experience and what I learned was unbelievable and beyond words to describe.  In the end, I was able to look at the things I done this past week and say to myself, “I did awesome!” and mean it.  More importantly, I was able to look at myself and say to myself, “I AM awesome!” and mean it from the bottom of my heart.  A very priceless experience I must say. 

So if you noticed, I too like Mandy did not discuss what occured during my week at the High Valley Ranch.  I look at it this way: I get a dream job for the company I been wanting to work for since childhood.  I know the application and interviewing and job screening procedures.  You also are interested in working for the same company and ask for the list of questions they’re most likely to ask during the screening.  Would it be fair if I disclosed that information?  Of course not.  But let’s say that I did disclose the information.  Did you get the job on your own merit?  So why would I provide answers to a test?  I say this with conviction because I know how much anyone could benefit from taking any of the courses with PSI.  If you were to take any of the courses, you would not maximize your benefit if I were to “give the answers in advanced” to you.  Had Mandy “warned” me about any of the contents prior to my attendance last week, I know the accomplishments I made there wouldn’t have felt as fulfilling.  Likewise, I will do my best to answer questions to any of you without talking about the actual courses.  Yes, it’s going to be a challenge, but I feel that the maximum effectiveness of the courses is predicated on the confidentiality of the class. 

This past week totally blew me away.  As I stated earlier, this was the first time ever that I was able to look at myself and say to myself, “I’m awesome!”  It’s a priceless feeling to experience and I’m very confident that any of you would have the same reaction.  Personal growth isn’t about getting wealthy although one of the aspect is about building economic equity to your name.  It isn’t about becoming famous as an actor, though it is about commitment to always work to improve your craft.  It isn’t about getting the right relationship but it’s about being the best person you could be and to avail yourself to others.  It isn’t about tapping a personal spiritual genie, but it’s about improving your relationship with God.  It’s about a balanced growth in all areas of your life, and we never stop working on that til the day I die.

…jia you! jia you! jia you!