August 13, 2006

• ups n downs

  having returned from l.a. l.a. land this week, i learned a helluva lot about myself with the assistance from a very lovely friend.  (before you ask me why not pursue her if she's that grand, let me tell you that without a foundation of friendship, NOTHING will ever stand)

  1) i have a long way to go in order to become a gentleman.  i was doing things out of habit i wasn't aware of that bothered her and afterwards, i now wondered how much it bother others in the past who didn't speak up.
  2) ditto for my listening skills.  ahhhhh the ever so skill that you think you have a grasp on, but don't.  in my profession, it's a must to listen.  especially in the improv sense.  pay attention and listen to your scene partner.  that's a fundamental, but it may sound bone-headed, but it's also a must to pay attention and listen to your friend in front of you.
  3) certain things, i don't thoroughly think things through.  when you have a 6 hour drive to and from a location, and a 3 hour wait for a ride, the "hard questions" asked are questions that indicate whether or not a situation has been thought out or not. 
  4) other times, i don't take enough risks.  i'm a "creature of habit."  on any given day, time, location, you could pinpoint exactly what i'm doing, eating, ect.  nothing wrong with that, BUT with her and from this week, there's a whole world out there waiting to be explored and tried and experienced. 
  5) i tend to look into things and jump to conclusions that aren't actually there.  yes, i learned to be a cynic and my guard is up constantly, but sometimes, ok, maybe most of the time, things should be accepted at face value w/o suspicion. especially when coming from a friend. 

  so yeah, a lot of revelation churning while on this so called vacation.  i was supposed to relax and enjoy myself instead of knocking myself out to make a good impression on a friend for the sake of "brownie points."  not trying to make any excuses for myself, but yeah, she is a great gal, and awesome friend, and very beautiful inside and out, and yeah, i did let those facts cloud my behavior at times sometimes for the worse results.  but overall, i did have a blast and so did she. 

  • 4:04 am
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