I wouldn’t know anything about that because after attending church on a regular basis for over 19 years, I’ve only attributed one booty-call hookup as a result of meeting someone at church. I won’t mention the name of the church or the location. That means that after approximately over 1000 visit to a specific institution, I’ve hooked up with someone only once.
Hence, why I don’t encourage people to meet up at church. It’s not so much that it’s frowned upon to begin with because the higher-ups get uppity when the focus and attention isn’t on them. (They’ll use the term “God,” but in all actuality, they really mean themselves) And it wasn’t or isn’t so much that I was “focused on God” such that checking out women took a completely back seat. It was a result on the type of churches I attended.
I’ve always credited The Salvation Army as being my “1st homechurch.” Yet the first institution where my spiritual journey began was actually in Oakland prior to their move to another East Bay city. And it wasn’t that people weren’t hooking up there, heck even the senior pastor there used that spot to target his underage female side activities. I tended to connect and communicate with those church attending female counter-parts who supposedly placed a priority on learning more about God.
At least that was THEIR excuse.
Truth is, if they wanted to, they would’ve did what they wanted to do. The “God” thing was merely a polite way of turning someone down. On top of that, inquiring about one’s relational status openly in a church setting was regularly frowned upon. Hell, several years back, I attended a church of a young up and coming pastor whose wife loved her thong style lingerie. Of course I don’t remember a damn thing HE said during the service. I do remember what SHE wore at church services. And it wasn’t like I could really discuss the matter with someone nearby me. 1) I could get frowned upon again 2) If I asked another guy about whether or not it was appropriate to notice, if he didn’t notice, he eventually would and that would get another guy is the same predicament. 3) People at church talk. Last thing I needed was chatter about me for future visits. Truth be told, as a whole, most ministers and pastors are married to MILFs. I suppose that because the entire family is unnecessarily placed under some judgmental microscope, there’s a pressure and expectation for the spouses of the minister to “present themselves” more. That thong was just a bonus.
Discussing about anything EXCEPT sex could perhaps be a deterrent to regular church attendance from some people. It’s the “pink elephant” people are attempting to ignore. Yet I would have the say that of all the scandals involving ministers, sex related situations seem to top it. Should anyone be surprised? There’s no dialogue, no outlet, no acknowledgement, no way to express a topic that’s so clearly there.
Lets face it, people attend church to meet other people. This whole notion that sex with someone other than their spouse needs a much deeper dialogue than “well God forbids it.” So what? God supposedly forbids a lot of other stuff too. And not to harp on anything, nowhere in the Bible did God forbid cannabis. Not that I”m an advocate for such activities, but this whole notion that it’s bad is none of the business of the church.
So going back to the sex thing.
Several Easters ago, I attended a church’s traditional Passion Play. That’s when the drama department of most churches do the first of their two annual performances for the year. (The second being the Christmas play) The Passion play depicts the trial of Jesus all the way to the Resurrection of Jesus, so there’s a heavy emphasis on the physical torture of Jesus. Needless to say, those scenes are notorious for evoking heavy emotions for the audience members. Many members of the audience are conducting their personal “re-commitment” or even some of them are making a commitment for the first time. The person playing Jesus is scantily-clad, covered in artificial blood, carrying a heavy wooden plank on their shoulders. One of two people are dressed in Roman soldier costumes following Jesus and re-enacting a torture scene walking through the intricate aisles of the church. No, they do not re-enact this scene on the stage, they are up-close to the audience by design.
So what does this have to do with the sex topic?
After that most recently viewing of the Passion Play several years back, I resolved to not view anymore of such display. No it wasn’t the repentant emotion that was evoke. No, it wasn’t guilt either. You see, after I noticed that the prop the Roman soldiers were using to “torture” Jesus was a whipped designed for S and M activities, I completely lost it.
Yes, I couldn’t stop my laughter while everyone else was crying, some even bawling.
Here I was in this situation where I couldn’t really turn to someone else and point out the fact that I saw the exact same whip at this store in San Francisco called Stormy Leather, and that same whip is available at Good Vibrations. It was sort of a similar situation as “observing” the under attire of that minister’s MILFy wife. So I laughed. Actually I covered my mouth with both hands and ran out of the sanctuary, and apparently that gesture was completely misread by the ushers who followed me out and made sure I was “OK.”
So for churches and meeting women, its such a low percentage for me. Of all the institutions that gave me a higher percentage of “companionship,” it was school.
I guess it’s time to re-apply to grad school!
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